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I really hate Bill Clinton¸ What a dork¸ Let me tell you one of my favorite Clinton stories¸ In what White House officials are calling "a
regrettable and admittedly very frustrating turn of events" President
Clinton forgot to hit the "save" key to store the 10 millionword
175000page federal budget on his computer Monday¸ The simple user
error will cost American taxpayers an estimated $300 trillion¸
The error which occurred late at night when no one was around to offer the President muchneeded technical assistance will force the
Republicancontrolled Congress to redraft the document from scratch as well as revote on all previously passed budget amendments¸
"I feel really bad about this" President Clinton said at a White House briefing yesterday¸ "I guess I was just really tired¸"
According to the Presidents White House advisor Lynne McMurtry the
President was making minor changes to the only existing draft of the
budget at 3:30 a¸m¸ Monday¸ He had yet to make a floppy disk backup
and when the screen suddenly opened a window that asked if he wanted to save changes to the document a confused Clinton made the critical error of accidentally hitting "no¸" Then in an unexpected turn of events his file server showed an error (Type 1) causing his screen to freeze¸
"I was moving the mouse to highlight a proposed welfare cut when all of a sudden it just stopped moving" Clinton said¸ "The computer crashed¸ I really should have hit save a long time ago¸"
Added McMurtry: "People make these kinds of mistakes all the time¸ It is unfortunate that it had to happen to the federal budget¸ In the future we will be sure to make a backup copy and keep it on Vice President Gores computer¸"
Compounding matters was that retrieval of the lost document became
impossible when out of frustration Clinton slid his chair back
rapidly pulling the computers plug out of the wall and shutting off
the entire system¸
"When I rebooted there was nothing there" Clinton said¸ "Nothing¸ Not even my little yellow stickie reminding me to sign that health care bill next week¸"
With no one else to turn to Clinton called Jeff a longtime friend who is according to White House reports "very good with computers¸"
Clinton sent Air Force One to Jeffs Little Rockarea home and had him
picked up and airdropped onto the White House roof¸ The President then
led him to the machine and asked him to "fix it¸"
Since Clinton had already restarted the computer the unsaved budget was lost forever despite Jeffs best retrieval efforts¸
Jeff who has a subscription to Ultimate ROM magazine could not be
reached for comment as he is according to Clinton "very shy¸"
Although the President had been expected to veto the proposed budget
the decisionmaking process will now be delayed indefinitely until a new budget is written¸ Republicans did not respond warmly to that prospect¸
"Someone has to type the whole thing over" said an angry Bob Dole from his weekend retreat at the Institute for Advanced Cybernetics at the University of Illinois at ChampaignUrbana¸ "I can assure you of one thingthe Republican Party will not get stuck retyping it¸"
Clinton meanwhile is doing his part to make up for his mistake by
agreeing to appear in a series of public service announcements along
with Jennifer Aniston of the smashhit NBC sitcom Friends which boldly speak out against forgetting to hit save and other computerrelated mishaps¸
"I hope these spots will go a long way toward raising Americans
awareness of the user error issue" Clinton said¸ "I certainly learned a valuable lesson¸"
Added Aniston: "Its totally cool to hit save¸ Im going to tell all
my friends about it¸"