[Free Erotic Stories] - [Free Sex Stories] - [Celebrity Biographies]
The new priest was so nervous at his first mass that he could hardly speak¸ Returning to the rectory he asked the monsignor "how can I relax"? The monsignor said‚ "next Sunday it may help to put some vodka in the water pitcher and after a few sips everything should go smoothly"! So the next Sunday the new priest put the suggestion in practice and was able to talk up a storm‚ man he felt great‚ however returning to the pulpit he found a note from the monsignor saying: 1¸ Next time sip rather than gulp! 2¸ There are ten commandments not twelve! 3¸ There are twelve disciples not ten! 4¸ Never do we refer to the cross as the big "T"! 5¸ The recommended grace before meals is not rub­a­dub­dub thanks for the grub yeah God! 6¸ David slew Goliath he did not kick the shit out of him! 7¸ Never do we refer to Jesus Chrise and his Apostles as JC and the Boys! 8¸ The Father Son and Holy Ghost are never refered to as Big Daddy Junior and the Spook! 9¸ Never do we refer to the Virgin Mary as Mary with the cherry! 10¸ Last but not least next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St¸ Peters‚ not a peter pulling contest at St¸ TAFFYS!