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Date: 970926
Time: 22:17:31
Erotica for Prose? Hmmm...Sounds like a concept I had when I tried to seduce the farmers daughter (No Joke). I had tried several months in a vain attempt to seduce this woman. I tried everything to pry her thighs apart. I offered to take her "Cow Tipping" Moonlit rides on the combine and I even went so far as to "Whizzing" on an electric fence...I know..I know..You are asking yourself "Why in the hell did he "Whizz" on the electric fence?" Well its quite simple actually. I was trying to go the sympathy route. ( I would have just loved if she kissed "The Boo Boo".) However instead of the sympathy route she went into hysterics as my body convulsed from a few volts running through my manhood. So in a last ditch attempt to gain her affection (and to ease the pain of a 1000 volt erection) I picked up the ole pen And began to write... Dear Thelma If you only knew what making love to you would be like for me. It would fullfill all of my hearts desires. Oh how I long to stroll through the pasture with you. The smell of the fresh dung that permeates your hair. The way your jeans stick to your body after you are done cleaning the pig pen.... Im actually sweating with desire while I retype this note and recall her image. ....If its money you want Thelma Ill get a job with your daddy after all we all know how he pays Jed one hundred bucks to satisfy your momma on the weekends so he dont have to. I can do the job for half the price so long as your dad provides me with a couple of burlap bags. You know how expensive condoms are nowadays. Ill have to put two over yours mommas head..After all "safe sex is good sex"... Anyhow you get the idea. I poured my soul out on the paper for her. The next day I ran to her place to deliver the letter. I handed it to her eagerly and wringed my hands together as she read it. She smiled And gave me a big hug then she yelled out to her father. "Daddy..Come quick. I have great news!!" Her father ran up and said "What is it?" She handed him the note to read. After he read it he said "The job is yours son." Then he turned and looked at Thelma and said "With a fifty dollars savings we wont have to clean out the pig pens on the weekends Thelma. We can get a Hotel room!" Sometimes I just wish that her family tree had a few branches on it. At least then I would have had a good chance at getting into Thelmas panties instead of a steady fifty dollar paycheck.