[Free Erotic Stories]
- [Free Sex Stories]
- [Celebrity Biographies]
St¸ Peter is standing at the gate¸ Up comes a guy who wants in¸
"Sorry" said St¸ Pete¸ "Im all out of halos and wings¸ I cant let you in unless you died a horrible death¸ How did you die?"
"Well I knew my wife was cheating on me and I was determined to catch her¸ I came home in the middle of the day from work¸ I live on the 5th floor of a highrise apartment¸ Well the door was locked and bolted but I could hear my wife and a male voice giggling and having what sounded like a good time¸ I knew they were naked and frolicking around¸ I started beating the door down and finally got in¸ There was my wife standing naked with a surprised look on her face¸ "Where is the bastard" I said! I looked in the bathroom in the bedroom in all the closets and couldnt find him anywhere¸ Just as I was about to give up I glanced out on my balcony and saw a man naked hanging from my railing¸ I went nuts! I started beating on him to lose his grip and kill the fucker but he kept holding on¸ I reached in and picked up an ashtray and started smashing his fingers¸ He still held on¸ In a fit of rage I grabbed the television ripped the wire out of the wall and whacked him in the head with it¸ Finnaly he dropped hollering all the way¸ I thought he was dead¸ But oh no¸ He fell into some bushes and broke the fall¸ He was still alive¸ Id had it! I went into the kitchen hoisted the refrigerator on my back hauled it out to the balcony threw it over the edge and smashed the son of a bitch into the ground¸ As a result of all of that exertion I had a massive coronary and here I am¸
St¸ Peter couldnt deny that that was an horrible death and let him in¸ Pretty soon up comes another guy¸
"Sorry" said St¸ Pete¸ "Im all out of halos and wings¸ I cant let you in unless you died a horrible death¸ How did you die?"
I live on the 8th floor of a highrise appartment and everyday I exercise by doing chinups off my balcony¸ Well today I lost my grip and was falling to my death when I was lucky enough to reach out and grab the balcony three floors below¸ I was hanging on for dear life and hoping someone would save me¸ Out of the apartment comes a man cursing and swearing at me¸ Instead of helping me out he starts punching and beating on my hands with an ashtray to let go¸ I didtnt¸
The next thing I know he smashes me in the head with the TV and I lose my grip¸ I thought I was a gonner but luckily I landed in some bushes which thankfully saved my life¸ But the next thing I know I look up and here comes this refrigerator and smashes me into the ground and as a result here I am¸
St¸ Peter couldnt believe the story but had to let him in as this was a most extrarordinary death¸ St¸ Pete goes back to work and up walks another man¸
"Sorry" said St¸ Pete¸ "Im all out of halos and wings¸ I cant let you in unless you died a horrible death¸ How did you die?"
Well I was sitting naked in this refrigerator¸¸¸¸¸¸¸¸¸