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I would write something meaningful but I havent been feeling well¸
I went to the doctor and he said "I have some good news and some bad
news¸"
I said "Tell me the good news first¸"
He said "You only have a week to live¸"
I said "Holy cow! If thats the good news whats the bad news!"
And he said "I should have told you last week¸"
So I said to the doctor "Id like a second opinion please¸"
And he said "OK youre ugly too!"
I cant help it Ive always been ugly¸ When I was born the doctor
reached over and slapped my mother! I was so ugly; when I was a kid
the cat used to bury me in the sand box¸
My whole family is ugly; but they are also very tough¸
I used to ask my dad if I could go ice skating on the lake and
he would say "Wait until it warms up!"
But my dad did want me to have things better than his life¸
"Son" he used to say "Dont marry your mother¸"
And speaking of married I get no respect from my wife¸ One day I
asked her "Why dont you ever tell me when youre having an orgasm?"
And she said "Because youre never here!"
My wife likes to hear me speak dirty during sex; so we installed a
phone in the bedroom¸
She meets me every night at the door wearing a really sexy
revealing teddie¸ The problem is shes just coming home at the time¸