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Date: 970814
Time: 19:07:37
Its been over 5 years now since Ive dated. Thats how long its been since Kathy left me with no explanation as to why. Wed been dating for about 4 or 5 months when out of the blue she just stopped talking to me stopped calling. It took me a solid 2 years to get over her but even today I still think about her on occassion. We met at work. It was her full time job and I was working there part time. We hit it off right from the start and I could tell wed be dating soon. All it took was asking her out to a movie she accepted. It was only 4 days later that I left to go on a vacation that I had planeed several months before. Even though I hadnt known Kathy that long I couldnt stop thinking about her while I was gone. I bought her a stuffed animal and enjoyed watching her face light up when I gave it to her after I returned home. She had an 18 month old daughter from a previous marriage and had custody of little Sandi every other weekend. It certainly didnt take long for me to consider Sandi my own child and I loved her as though she were. Kathy spent every weekend with me and what enjoyable times we shared together. But it seemed like the best times were when we had Sandi with us. Taking her to the playground out to eat ice cream out shopping anything we did with her brought a big smile to my face. There was a moment in time that I shared with these two wonderful ladies that I will never forget. It was an early Sunday morning and it was stormy outside. There was enough light outside so that I could see my love Kathy as she was snuggled up next to me still asleep. On the other side of Kathy was Sandi also still asleep snuggled up against her Mother. I looked at these two as outside it was raining and thundering. I know it sounds silly but I really felt as though I was protecting them from the storm outside. At that moment I felt such a warmth of love like Id never felt before. I was loved and needed by these two and it felt great. I had been alone for a long time before meeting Kathy and her and Sandi filled that big hole Id felt inside for so long. So when that fateful day came that Kathy pulled the rug out from under me I was devastated. Since I would see her at work I tried to get an explanation from her but the only thing she ever told me was that it wasnt anything I did. At one point in our relationship as we lay in bed just holding each other she told me she was falling for me in a big way and it was scaring her as she had a bad experience with her first marriage. I tend to think that she got too scared and just cut me off old turkey. I never told Kathy but a few more months and I was going to ask her to marry me and wed go to court to get full custody of Sandi. I wish Kathy wouldve hung in there instead of letting me go because she was scared. Ive never cried so much before in my life as I did over losing her and Sandi. That big empty space is still inside me and on occassion when I think of Kathy and Sandi and of what we had the tears flow again