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Theres only
two words you need to describe pure unadulterated evil; Jerry Seinfeld¸
I hate that guy¸
Nothing irks me more than to be innocently flipping through the channels in the
drunkenlike stupor that invariably accompanies the mere act of watching TV just
beginning to settle comfortably into the haze only to be jolted out of the womb as it
were by the grating sound of some whiny young geek screeching "Elaaaaaaaaaaine!!"
through his nostrils¸ EGAD! What is this nonsense?! Hmm¸ Dont recognize it¸ Just a
pilot I guess¸ Good¸ Wont have to put up with that again then¸
One week later: Hey Matt have you ever seen the Manziere episode? No! Will everyone
please shut up about it already?! What in the heck is a Manziere anyway?
Well this youthful blissful ignorance could only last so long¸ I am now surrounded by
this nincompoop and by the nincompoops who think he is funny¸ Theyre everywhere¸
Well Ive got some bad news for you guys¸ Seinfeld sucks¸ If you dont think so youre
just wrong¸ End of story¸
I have been wracking my brains (an exercise which takes little time in my case) to try
and compose a thesis explaining exactly why Seinfeld is such a bad man¸ But it finally
occurred to me (I told you folks Im not too bright) I cant¸ Its an exercise in futility¸
How can you explain the screamingly obvious? I compare it to trying to explain why
sewer rats are bad¸ You cant argue that point with anyone¸ Everybody just knows that
they are real real bad¸ But there are those out there who would argue that sewer rats
are not bad at all¸ What do you say to someone like that? Nothing¸ You cant argue with
a complete denial of logic and reality¸ Hey guys! Remember that whole Black Plague
thing? Half of Europe dead? Right¸ Thats the one¸ You might as well try to prove that
the Earth is round¸
We all know it is¸
We all know that rats are bad¸
And so is Seinfeld¸
Thats it¸ I cant say any more¸ My eyebrows are deeply furrowed with frustration now¸