[Free Erotic Stories]
- [Free Sex Stories]
- [Celebrity Biographies]
>Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
>A: Gifted!
>
>Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
>A: Pregnant¸
>
>Q: What do you call it when a natural blonde dies her hair brunette?
>A: Artificial intelligence¸
>
>Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
>A: Because thats where youre supposed to wash vegetables!
>
>Q: How do you make a blondes eyes light up?
>A: Shine a flashlight in their ear¸
>
>Q1 How can you tell if a blondes been using the computer?
>A: Theres whiteout on the screen¸
>Q2: How can you tell if another blondes been using the computer?
>A: Theres writing on the whiteout¸
>
>Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
>A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
>
>Q: Whats the mating call of the blonde?
>A: "Im *sooo* drunk!"
>
>Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
>A: (Screaming) "I said Im SOOOOOOOO drunk!"
>
>Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
>A: Because they can spell it¸
>
>Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
>A: Toes Go In First¸
>Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
>A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear wondering
> what she did with her pencil¸
>
>Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
>A: A wind tunnel¸
>
>Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
>A: A dope ring¸
>Q: Santa Claus the Tooth Fairy a dumb blonde and a smart
> blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill¸
> Who picks it up?
>A1: The dumb blonde! because there is no such thing as Santa Claus
> the tooth fairy or a smart blonde¸
>A2: None of them¸ There is no such thing as Santa Claus the Tooth
> Fairy or a smart blonde and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum
> wrapper¸
>
>Q: Why do blondes take the pill?
>A: So they know what day of the week it is¸
>
>Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building who hits
theground first?
>A: The brunette¸ The blonde has to stop to ask for directions¸
>
>Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
>A: Her memory improves!
>
>Q: Whats the blondes cheer?
>A: " Im blonde Im blonde Im B¸L¸O¸N¸¸¸¸ah oh well¸¸
> Im blonde Im blonde yea yea yea¸¸¸"
>Q: Why does a blonde only change her babys diapers every month?
>A: Because it says right on the box "good for up to 20 pounds¸"
>
>Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
>A: She threw it off a cliff¸
>
>Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
>A: She drowns it¸
>
>Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
>A: Write Please turn over on both sides of a piece of paper¸
>
>Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
>A: Frosted Flakes¸
>Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
>A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
>
>Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blondes head?
>A: A Space Invader¸
>
>Q: Whats a blondes favorite rock group?
>A: Air Supply¸
>
>Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
>A: Proofreading¸
>
>Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
>A: For throwing out the Ws¸
>
>Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
>A: An air bag¸
>
>Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
>A: Its on¸ Its off¸ Its on¸ Its off¸ Its on¸ Its off¸
>
>Q: What goes VROOM SCREECHVROOM SCREECHVROOM SCREECH?
>A: A blonde going through a flashing red light¸
>
>Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
>A: A visitor¸
>
>Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
>A: So she wouldnt get Hearing Aides¸
>
>Q: How do you measure a blondes intelligence?
>A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
>
>Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Drivers License?
>A: Because she got an F in sex¸
>
>A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw
>a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT"¸ After thinking for a minute
>she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around and drove home¸
>
>On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said
>"CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES"¸ By the time she drove eight miles she
>had cleaned 43 restrooms¸
>
>Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb¸ One of
>them decides to call 911:
>
>Blonde: We need help¸ Were three blondes changing
> a light bulb¸
>Operator: Hmmmmm¸ You put in a fresh bulb?
>Blonde: Yes¸
>Operator: The power in the house in on?
>Blonde: Of course¸
>Operator: And the switch is on?
>Blonde: Yes yes¸
>Operator: And the bulb still wont light up?
>Blonde: No its working fine¸
>Operator: Then whats the problem?
>Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and
> we all fell and hurt ourselves¸
>
>What about the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins?
>He wanted to know who the other man was¸¸¸
>
> There were three people stranded on an island a brunette a
>redhead and a blonde¸ The brunette looked over the water to the
>mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore¸ So she announced
"Im going to try to swim to shore¸" So she swam out five miles and got
>really tired¸ She swam out ten miles from the island and she was too
>tired to go on so she drowned¸
> The second one the redhead said to herself "I wonder if she
made it¸" I guess its better to try to get to the mainland than stay here
>and starve¸" So she attempts to swim out¸ The redhead had a lot more
>endurance than the brunette as she swam out 10 miles before she even
>got tired¸ After 15 miles she was too tired to go on so she
drowned¸
> So the blonde thought to herself "I wonder if they made it!
I think Id better try to make it too¸" So she swam out 5 miles ten
miles 15 miles NINETEEN miles from the island¸ The shore was just in
sight but she said "Im too tired to go on!" So she swam back¸
>
>Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down
>and said "Oh look at the deer tracks¸" The other blonde looks
>and says "Those arent deer tracks those are wolf tracks¸" "No¸
>Those are deer tracks¸" They keep arguing and arguig and one
>half hour later they were both killed by a train¸
>
>